Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Getting the Run of Things

Video games take a backseat to what is needed to continue playing
When I was in lower level education, I would go to school, do all the work that needed to be done while at the same time pondering the latest games I would play. Of course I was younger, and as such simply thinking about the game (imagining what I could do, what I need to do, where I can improve) was enough to make my saliva flow. As soon as school was over, I didn't wait around packing up or go talk to friends- no, I grabbed my prepacked bag and ran right out the front to my awaiting mother who would then take me home. From that point on, I would get as much game time as I could squeeze out of the time before school the next day and what my parents would allow. When I wasn't playing games or doing my homework, I would be reading the latest issues of Gamepro, EGM, and PSM. I wanted to know everything there was to know about the games I was playing and the games to come. I knew every game that was on the horizon and I knew which ones I absolutely needed to have. Doing well in school allowed me to focus on my games too, though it might not make the most sense. Through my years in school, I was driven to get good grades (mostly A's, a couple rare B's). I knew I had to do well for other reasons, but one of my biggest concerns was getting everything out of the way so I would have more time to play, so that's precisely what I did.

Get school taken care of, play games freely

When I moved on to a higher level of education (university), gone were the days of fantasizing about games all day. Instead, I spent most of my classes looking online at game sites. No, this did not help me to do well- in fact, it caused me to struggle a bit more than I would have liked at times. However, boy did I plan my classes well, because I had more time than I ever had before to play video games. I frequently had classes only a couple times a week, and even those days weren't so long before I could race drive carefully home to play even more. By this stage I had turned much more heavily to computer games. With my transition into the world of online gaming, socialization in larger groups became the common. Where as before I would have a couple of friends over to play N64 and Playstation 2 games with me after school, now I was playing Counter Strike: Source and Battlefield 2 with some of my closest friends through the early hours of the morning. Yeah I had homework to do when I wasn't in class, but I got away with what I could in that regard.

Oh how I miss my late night CS:S scrims

Graduation was a bittersweet moment as I now look back upon it. I didn't even attend my graduation ceremony. My thinking was that I would rather be playing games instead of wasting my time hearing names (eventually mine) getting called. Okay so that's not entirely true. I had expected the ceremony to suck (and I'm pretty certain it did) so I didn't bother attending. But I probably did end up playing games in that time come to think of it. With 16+ years of schooling behind me, I felt it was time for a break.... aaaannnddd that's what I did. For a year of my life, I sat around all day (what I considered the day at least) playing video games, watching an occasional movie or TV show, and socializing). I would go to bed between 3 and 6am, and wake up later that day between 1 and 3pm. For that year, I almost never ate breakfast- instead I ate lunch when I woke up, dinner a couple hours later, and I had another (crappy) late meal around 1am. This consisted of Top Ramen, Cup Noodle, bowls of chili, microwavable chicken sandwiches, and chips. Man on man was my salt intake high that year (but no msg!). This year was amazing- I did practically nothing productive, I destroyed my eyes staring at a monitor and my ears having headphones on all day, I lost touch with all of my friends "irl," and I hardly ate, but when I did ohhh how amazing the most simple of foods tasted.

Fast and filling - 2 of the clauses for late night snacks

Buuuuuut it was time to become a "responsible adult." Unfortunately for me this happened rather recently. I was always working the weekend at the same part time job I had during my stay in college. Now though, a 9-6 job has been tacked on Monday to Friday. My routine has become quite mundane. Wake up earlier than I have in ages, go to work forever, come home, and sit at my computer doing nothing or in front of the television. Gone are my long hours of gaming (and I fear a lot of my talent as well). I'm not sure what it is, but I just don't have the drive to play games anymore. I'm constantly looking at the clock as it gets closer to my new bed time between midnight and 1. I'll occasionally figure out that I should be doing something instead of sitting around- and when that happens I watch one of the weekly shows I've downloaded and need to keep up with.
More like 9 - 6 with a 1hr lunch break :|

My honest to goodness hope is that I can fix this with time. From doing absolutely nothing to working 7 days a week is quite a turn around. My body isn't so tired, but I believe my mind is. I never have a break anymore, and to be honest with myself- it will be quite a while before I do. So it's time for me to buckle down and get used to what I've been dealt; learn to play this new hand. In the coming weeks, work needs to take a backseat in my life. Though it will still happen daily, going to work will become commonplace routine such that I can focus on what's important in life- video games.

17 comments:

  1. I know how this goes man! Good luck, look forward to reading more!

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  2. I'm gonna graduate high school this year... I really have no idea what to expect if i choose to go to a college after high school.

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  3. Just a warning: It's been said that nothing and nobody gives less of a *uck then a man in his 40's. This is true. I know you are young yet so I'm just warning ya. Prepare.

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  4. I liked your perspective in this one... I'm going to have to agree with you

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  5. i just starting doing lab work today. takes away a big chunk of my time every day.. i feel you bro

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  6. Obviously when you are younger you have less cares. You sound more weary of the greyness of things than anything else.
    Maybe you should take some sort of sabbatical if you can? Even if it is only for a few days to 'smell the roses' as they say.

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  7. don't worry, you will find a new routine in nearly no-time.

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  8. are you me? im in the same exact situation.

    take a break from time to time bro its really good for the mind

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  9. In some weird way I feel.... complete left out. ;)

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  10. meh i spent a lot of my time in college playing video games. worked out for me.

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  11. ahhh i miss counter strike so much.

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